Dear future boyfriend,

        
           Maybe I know you already, or maybe not. Maybe we saw each other at a random place, but we never met. I want you to know, that wherever you are, I am always thinking of you. What you probably look like, how we'll look in each other's eyes whenever we say those 3 magic words, how you'll knock me off my feet, how we'll face other people and be proud of each other, how you'll make me cry with just the simple things that you do, how I'll introduce you to my parents, how we'll laugh over random things, maybe this, or maybe I am just expecting too much. But whatever you are, whatever you do, no matter how you look like, no matter how badly we'll fight, Please know that I love you so much. While writing this, I promised myself that I will never put myself in a relationship that I'm not sure of. So when the time comes that I'll show this blog to you, It only means one thing. I AM SURE OF YOU. I can be very moody and just like the other girls, pickle-minded. But please know that in this world of doubts, you are one of the things I am very sure of. 


            I am a jealous person, but as long as you are reasonable, I will believe you. I may overreact at times, but it will always be because I love you so much and I am afraid to lose you. 

           While waiting for you, I've been listening to lots of love songs already.. and when I finally met you, I promise I'll let you listen to all those songs too. 

  

This one's one of those songs. 

           
           I can be mushy at times, please bear with it. Though sometimes, I'll make you feel that you're not appreciated, but believe me, even by the smallest things that you do for me, I melt. Just your existence in my everyday life is already appreciated. 


          People see me as a very strong person, but love is my weakness. Therefore, you are my weakness. I may be annoying at times, I am sorry for that. It will always be because I want to be with you. everyday of forever.


           I've been through several relationships already and I guarantee you that none of them was playtime. I was played, yes. My heart has been broken and torn several times already but I never thought of giving up on the feeling of being in love. Because I believe that YOU exist. That you will come and make me whole, because you are my other half, and that one day in my life, I'll find someone who'll love me for me and not for what I can give and what I can be. I'm 20, and I certainly believe that I know myself. Moreover, I know how stupid I can be when in comes to love. Please don't take advantage of it. I promise I'll be faithful. I have lots of guy friends, don't be jealous. Always remember, that the day I committed myself in to our relationship, YOU ARE ABOVE THEM. 


           Every day I wake up with a smile on my face because I know I am one day closer into knowing you. I can't explain how excited I am, I don't care how hopeless romantic that sounds. God might be busy writing the perfect love story for us that's why we haven't met yet. Right now, i'm telling everyone this, Dear future boyfriend, I intend to hold you and love you just to make you stay forever. 

QUOTE: "it's a full moon here tonight which makes me think of you, because I know no matter what I'm doing no matter where I am, this moon will always be the same size as yours, half a world away." 
(From Dear John)


            I will never get tired of waiting for you, love. See you soon?

10-23-2011: Metro Manila Conference

"We are to live as young people. We are the movers of the vision. WE are to live like Jesus"


"Mas masarap kapag alam mong nakakaya mo ang mga bagay bagay hindi dahil sa lakas mo pero lakas na galing sa Diyos mo." 


"In my brokenness, the Lord simply reminded me that my family is the best love story in my life" -Karen Alcober


"We are first loved by the Lord, that we are special, that we are strong. Let us remember that we have this heart, a heart like Jesus."


"It is always a privilege suffering for Him."


"It is by God's grace that we are able to claim victory over our sufferings." -Jake Lime


The past few years were tough. Probably because, those were the times that God really allowed me to see the world. The other side of the world. Far away from all my fantasies back in my early years in this community. 


Tonight, kahit live stream lang, I felt God touched my heart and I felt his forgiveness. Alam ko na sa paghingi ko ng tawad ay pinatawad nya ko. Alam ko na sa lahat, Siya ang tunay na nakakaintindi at nakakaalam kung gaano ko Siya kamahal. Tonight, God reminded me that I am never alone. He reminded me that all through out the journey, merong mga taong kasabay ko na kapareho ko ng nararamdaman, and most of all, pinaalala Niya sakin, na kasama ko Siya. Na sa pagharap ko sa mga problema, ay hindi ako magisa. Na kung lilingon lang ako, o titingin sa tabi ko, makikita ko Siya at hindi na ko dapat malungkot pa. Tonight, he reminded me how great His love is. Truly Lord God, Your love is all I need. I love You, Lord. 

We cannot control everything.

Sometimes, no matter how tight you hold on to something, It will still be taken away from you. Hindi na nagmamatter yung quantity or yung quality ng pinagsamahan/pinagdaanan nyo ng tao/bagay na yon, basta darating na lang sa point na ikaw mismo, you will give up because you cannot handle the pain anymore. you will give up kasi nauntog ka na sa katotohanan na, mas may magandang buhay/bagay na naghihintay para sayo. 


Who knows nga naman? if this thing that you're holding on to is the thing that keeps you from moving forward? 

FRIENDS.

I went through a lot of problems involving my friends. Trust issues. Loyalty issues. Seriously, Im so tired of it.


Before, when I was younger, I always ask for friends who'll accept me for me. Friends who'll love me no matter what.


Now that I have come to my senses, I realized that I still need friends who'll love me for me, but will always remind me that I can be better. I need friends who'll stand beside me always but will be honest enough to tell me whenever I am out of the right track. 


TRANSPARENCY is the key. 

Kahit kelan hindi naging madali para sa isang tao na talikuran ang taong nagmamahal sakanya.

   Naranasan mo na ba yung pakiramdam na alam mong mahal na mahal ka ng isang tao? Na kahit anong gawin mo matatanggap ka niya? Na kahit pagkatao nya mismo ang tapakan mo, alam mo at sigurado ka na sa dulo kayang kaya mong bumawi para makalimutan nya yung nagawa mo?


   Naranasan ko na. Maraming beses. Masarap at masaya sa pakiramdam. Galing ako sa hindi magandang relasyon nun. Ipinagdasal ko na sana makita ko na yung taong mahal na mahal ako. Yung mamahalin ako ng higit pa sa pagmamahal na kaya kong ibigay. Ipinagdasal ko na sana sa susunod bumaliktad naman ang mga pangyayari at ako naman yung hindi kayang iwan and ayaw pakawalan. Dumating naman siya. Ang problema? Ako. Iba pa rin pala talaga kapag ikaw yung nagmamahal. Mas masakit pero mas masaya. 


   Kinailangan ko syang iwan. Hindi lang dahil hindi ko sya mahal, dahil hindi ko na rin kaya pang dagdagan ang sakit na binibigay ko sakanya. Nasaktan rin ako. Nasaktan ako dahil alam ko yung pakiramdam na nagmamahal ng taong hindi mo alam kung kaya kang mahalin pabalik o kung kaya bang suklian yung pagmamahal na kaya mong ibigay. 


   Ngayon, naiintindihan ko na sila. Yung mga taong mas pinipiling magisa kesa samahan yung taong nagmamahal sakanila. Iba ang saya kapag mahal na mahal mo yung tao. Kahit nasasaktan ka, doon mo pa rin makikita yung tunay na kaligayahan. Kahit hindi ka nasusuklian, kaya pa rin nyang buuin ang araw mo. At kahit ilang beses nya durugin ang puso mo, siya at siya lang rin ang kayang bumuo nito.